Síguenos:




Número 24 - Junio de 2011   

Rincón apócrifo
Memoria de mis burras tristes.
Fernando Mora Meléndez. Ilustraciones X10

Para algunos detractores, el realismo mágico es una enfermedad tropical tan contagiosa como poco estudiada. Se dice que basta leer una página de El Amor en los tiempos del Cólera para adquirir el virus. En algunos escritores no se manifiesta, aunque “el tintineo de sus metáforas los delata”. No falta quién ensaye día y noche queriendo igualarse al genio de Aracataca. La idea de imitar a otros autores es tan vieja como los evangelios apócrifos. Hubo plumas, como Avellaneda, que se atrevieron a tanto como escribir la segunda parte del Quijote antes que Cervantes. En honor a este divertimento, llamado pastiche, abrimos una sección que ojalá peleche más que la piratería: el rincón apócrifo. ¡Y que viva Gabo!

 
Ilustración X10

Era inevitable. La tarde en que Pilar Ternera me dejó plantado, de punta en blanco, con el cuento peregrino de la regla, tuve que regresar a mi cuarto a aliviar por mano propia y en soliloquio los reclamos inclementes de la pinga. En las primeras de Cambio, no encontré a mi alcance ninguna deidad en cueros que inspirara mis caricias y necesité quince minutos con sus segundos para darme cuenta que la mía sería una paja franciscana.

Me eché en mi jergón de perro, obnubilado por el ardor ahumado de Ternera que se filtraba por los resquicios de las paredes. Repetí esa palabra como un conjuro para entrar en calor. Pero al decir Ternera por tercera vez sin que surtiera efecto, decidí cambiarlo por su nombre de pila: Pilar, menos largo y más romántico. Tuve que cerrar los ojos para imaginarla como Dios la trajo al mundo, sin bicicleta, pero con un par de tetas. Las mismas que no pude sopesar porque ese mismo día mi abuelo había prometido llevarme a ver el hielo. Desde entonces, los encuentros con ella se enfriaron sin remedio. Me lo hizo saber, además, con una frase premonitoria y con ese tono de gitana asmática: “Como no me paraste bolas el día que nos convenía, ahora vas a ver como te sale un pelo de marrano en la palma de la mano”. La frase hizo estragos en el momento soberano de deslizar la palma por los entresijos de mis calzoncillos. Me detuve, atormentado con la idea de que si pensaba en ella, sólo iba a conseguir que mi pájaro cerrara su único ojo somnoliento y no habría poder humano que lo levantara de su siesta de mal agüero.

Hice un esfuerzo sobrenatural por continuar con mi consuelo de Onán. Para concentrarme, trate de disipar los aromas condimentados de la carne de Ternera, y dejar que el pulso firme e inspirado se valiera de otros recursos menos llaneros y más caribeños. Me asaltó la imagen del último desfile de diosas coronadas por Raimundo y todo el mundo. Ante este mal de vereda, hasta una tercera princesa me sacaría de apuros. Busqué entre los cajones repletos de remedios y papeles el ejemplar de la revista y tardé sólo cinco minutos para lanzar dos conjeturas. O bien se la había regalado a Plinio, que la quería conservar porque estaba retratado a mi lado en las páginas sociales; o bien la había tirado a la basura después de perder la paciencia con un crucigrama endiablado. Sin la ayuda fotográfica a la vista, acudí al salvavidas del recuerdo. Imaginé los cuerpos de las candidatas en traje de baño, sin dejar a un lado ni a la señorita Vichada. Pero el deseo salió espantado de mi catre ante la sola idea de tocar una teta sintética. Sobre todo ahora en el año de mis noventa, cuando acataba el consejo de mi Sabio Catalán de sólo consumir lo natural.

Ya empezaba a resignarme a la falta de inspiración, cuando en un trance de memoria involuntaria se me apareció como una revelación mi burra de adolescencia. Estaba allí, amarrada a un tronco de guayacán sietemesino. Tenía las grupas suaves y la mirada impúdica de su estirpe. Me subí en el taburete de los iniciados para poder alcanzar sus belfos traseros, húmedos y a la espera. Me sentía tan feliz, que la besaba en la cola y ella me correspondía con un remolino de succiones. La equina no decía ni mú y aún así me dictaba las primeras vocales del amor. La amé hasta la empuñadura, mientras aspiraba su vaho espeso y su olor a cuido silvestre y a melaza. Ante el desenlace feliz sentí deslizar mis manos por sus grupas sedosas que pronto descubrí: eran una almohada. Cuando volví en mí tuve la cítrica certeza de que una burra de pura paja no podía exorcizar a la Pilar Ternera de carne y hueso. Pero en vez de suicidarme con aceite de ricino, acudí a las palabras del Sabio: “las mujeres, a diferencia de las burras, te lo dan cuando ellas quieren, pero no cuando tú lo necesitas”.

Muchos días después, frente al pelotón de Fidel, habría de mirar la palma de mi mano donde empezaba a brotarme la cerda de marrano, y me preguntaría por vez primera si los pajizos del mundo volveríamos a tener una segunda oportunidad sobre la estera. UC

Ilustración X10

  Name  
  Email
  Comment  
Imagen CAPTCHA
Enter the code shown above

The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought you have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention. Bakery Virginia

pioneerseo  18/sep./2019 08:21:

I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to start my own Blog Engine blog now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a fine example of it. Richmond Cake

pioneerseo  18/sep./2019 08:20:

Good day! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Cheers! 사설토토 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Howdy I’m thus excited I found your own web page, I really identified you accidentally, as i had been studying about Yahoo for something different, Anyhow I will be right here now and would likely prefer to point out cheers for any amazing publish plus a all-round thrilling blog (I also adore the actual theme/design), I can’t have enough time in order to browse everything in the moment but I have bookmarked that as well as added your own RSS feeds, then when We have moment I am to read far more, Please keep up the fantastic work. Barber shop NYC

mtom  14/sep./2019 05:30:

Exactly where have you discovered the resource intended for the following article? Awesome studying I have subscribed for your site feed. International Passport

mtom  12/sep./2019 05:01:

Thanks for sharing your ideas. One thing is that individuals have an option between fed student loan and also a private education loan where it can be easier to opt for student loan online debt consolidation than over the federal education loan. Barber Shop Birmingham

mtom  04/sep./2019 05:57:

I want to see more updates from you, this is what I need to find gmail login

Leah  03/sep./2019 05:59:

at&t phone number,at&t customer service number,at&t customer service,call at&t customer service,call at&t,att tech support,att customer support,att customer care,at&t support,at&t number,at&t customer service phone number,at&t customer service hours,at&t customer service chat,at&t contact,at and t customer service,the number to at&t,att tech support number,att support number,att online chat,att live chat,att email support,att customer support number,att customer care number,att contact us,att contact number,att chat support,att 800 number,att 24 hour customer service,at&t toll free number,at&t telephone number,at&t technical support phone number,at&t technical support number,at&t tech support phone number,at&t tech support,at&t support phone number,at&t helpline,at&t help number,at&t help line,at&t help,at&t customer service telephone number,at&t customer service phone,at&t customer service line,at&t customer service email,at&t customer care number,at&t customer care,at&t contact number,at&t 800 number,at&t 1 800 number,at and t phone number,at and t customer service number,the phone number to at&t customer service,the phone number to at&t,the number to at&t customer service,phone number to at&t customer servicenumber to call at&t,my att phone numbermy att number,my att customer service phone number,my att customer service numbermy att customer service,contact att support,contact at&t customer servicecontact at and tcall att supportcall at&t technical support,call at&t tech support,call at&t customer support,call at&t customer service number,call at&t customer care,call at&t 800 number,call at and t,att technical support phone,att tech support phone,att tech support chat,att tech support 360,att tech,att setup,att phone support,att online support,att online chat support,att live chat support,att help desk,att help chat,att email support phone number,att email support number,att email setup,att email phone number,att email help,att email customer support,att customer support phone,att customer support chat,att customer care chat,att 24 hour tech support,att 24 hour support,att 24 hour number,att 24 hour customer support,at&t toll free phone numberat&t toll free,at&t support line,at&t help support,at&t help phone number,at&t help desk number,at&t customer support phone number,at&t customer service toll free number,at&t customer service technical support,at&t customer service contact number,at&t customer service 800 number,at&t customer care service,at&t customer care phone number,at&t contact phone numberat&t contact infoat&t 800 phone number,at&t 800 customer service,at&t 1800 phone number,at&t 1800 customer service number,at&t 1800 customer service,at and t technical support,at and t tech support,at and t support number,at and t support,at and t number,at and t help,at and t customer support,at and t customer service phone number,at and t customer service phone,at and t customer care,at and t contact number,at and t contact,at and t 1800 number,at & t customer service phone number,at & t customer service number,at & t customer care

ashutoshweb3  03/sep./2019 02:01:

adobe support,adobe help,adobe customer service number,adobe customer service,adobe customer support,adobe contact,adobe phone number,adobe customer service phone number,adobe support phone number,contact adobe,adobe tech support,adobe support chatadobe flash player helpadobe contact number,adobe technical support,adobe creative cloud support,contact adobe support,adobe support numberadobe helpline,adobe photoshop customer service,adobe photoshop help,adobe customer support number,adobe customer care,adobe help number,adobe creative cloud customer service,adobe help chat,adobe acrobat customer service,adobe support email,lightroom customer service,adobe acrobat support,adobe lightroom customer service,adobe creative cloud contact,adobe customer support phone number,call adobe support,adobe number,call adobe,adobe help phone number,adobe creative cloud support number,adobe customer service email,photoshop customer service,adobe phone,adobe live chat,adobe photoshop phone number,photoshop help,adobe photoshop support,adobe lightroom support,photoshop support,call adobe customer service,contact adobe by phone,adobe illustrator help,adobe acrobat help,flash player help,adobe premiere support,adobe lightroom help,adobe indesign help,adobe flash help,adobe contact us,adobe help line,adobe flash support,adobe premiere help,adobe phone support,adobe reader help,adobe acrobat pro help,adobe com support,adobe creative cloud help,help adobe,adobe contact phone number,adobe reader support,adobe flash player support,adobe help desk,adobe tech support number,adobe technical support phone number,adobe tech support phone number,adobe customer service phone,adobe cc support,adobe premiere pro help

sam  03/sep./2019 02:00:

microsoft customer service, microsoft support number, microsoft support, microsoft help, microsoft number, microsoft phone number, contact microsoft, microsoft technical support, microsoft tech support, microsoft windows 10 support, microsoft customer service number, microsoft helpline, microsoft contact number, windows support, windows tech support, microsoft tech support number, microsoft customer support, microsoft tech support phone number, microsoft support phone number, microsoft help desk, contact microsoft support, windows technical support, call microsoft, microsoft office support, microsoft help number, windows support number, microsoft phone support, microsoft windows support, microsoft office customer service, microsoft office phone number, microsoft customer service phone number, microsoft office support number, microsoft support email, microsoft office help, microsoft office support phone number, microsoft telephone number, call microsoft support, windows customer service, outlook support phone number, microsoft live support, outlook support number, microsoft outlook support, outlook customer service, microsoft 365 support, microsoft support chat, microsoft support live chat, microsoft live chat, microsoft chat, support microsoft, windows help, microsoft office 365 support, outlook support, outlook help, office 365 support, office support, windows 10 support, windows 7 support, microsoft technical support number, microsoft customer support number, microsoft technical support phone number, windows support phone number, microsoft online support, microsoft help phone number, windows tech support number, microsoft office contact number, microsoft customer care, windows technical support phone number, microsoft helpline number, microsoft help desk phone number, windows help and support, microsoft customer care number, microsoft outlook support phone number, microsoft office tech support, windows customer service number, windows customer support, microsoft office number, microsoft online help, microsoft customer support phone number, microsoft outlook customer service, microsoft office contact, microsoft windows support number, microsoft customer service email, support microsoft help, windows customer support number, microsoft office customer service phone number, microsoft office customer service number, microsoft 800 number, windows helpline, microsoft windows support phone number, windows phone number, outlook tech support phone number, microsoft product support, windows technical support number, contact windows support, ms office setup, windows help number, microsoft office customer support, windows 10 support phone number, windows 10 support number, microsoft office technical support, microsoft 1800 number, microsoft windows help, microsoft office phone support, microsoft contact phone number, microsoft live help, call windows support, microsoft support contact number, microsoft telephone support, office help, windows contact number, microsoft windows customer service, microsoft support telephone number, microsoft office customer support phone number, ms help, ms office support, windows help desk, microsoft office help phone number, windows customer service phone number, windows live support, contact microsoft office support, microsoft windows technical support, microsoft helpline phone number, outlook customer service number, outlook customer service phone number, microsoft customer service telephone number, outlook email support phone number, outlook technical support phone number, microsoft outlook customer service phone number, microsoft tech, microsoft technical support telephone number, call microsoft office, microsoft outlook account, call microsoft tech support, microsoft outlook phone number, microsoft outlook tech support, microsoft account contact number, call microsoft technical support, outlook tech support number, call microsoft customer support, outlook technical support number, microsoft help email, outlook technical support, microsoft windows phone number, microsoft customer service phone, microsoft office help number, call microsoft customer service, microsoft live customer service, windows phone support, contact microsoft customer service, ms support, microsoft 24 hour support, microsoft outlook help desk, office 365 help, microsoft live phone number, microsoft helpdesk, microsoft help chat, outlook contact number, microsoft contact us, windows support chat, microsoft online support chat, microsoft outlook help, microsoft tech support chat, microsoft toll free number, outlook support chat, microsoft 360 support, microsoft office support chat, windows support live chat, outlook phone number, contact outlook support, microsoft online chat, outlook customer support, office 365 tech support, microsoft office 365 customer service, office 365 phone support, contact microsoft office 365, microsoft 365 customer service, outlook email customer service, microsoft outlook contact number, outlook help chat, outlook help phone number, microsoft office 365 support phone number, outlook 365 support, office 365 chat support, office 365 setup, microsoft 365 phone number, microsoft office 365 phone number, office 365 support phone number, call windows, microsoft 365 contact, outlook tech support, outlook email help, outlook email support, microsoft 365 customer service phone number, microsoft 365 help, office 365 contact, microsoft office 365 help, office customer service, outlook 2016 help, office 365 customer service, outlook 365 help, outlook number, microsoft outlook 365 support, windows chat, microsoft device support, office 365 support number, office 365 technical support, office 365 contact number, office 365 customer support, microsoft office 365 support number, microsoft 365 customer service number, office 365 customer service phone number, microsoft 365 support phone number, microsoft 365 customer support, office 365 tech support phone number, contact office 365 support, call office 365 support, windows live mail support, microsoft customer service chat, microsoft activation phone number, microsoft phone number usa, microsoft support number usa, microsoft customer service phone number usa, microsoft activation support, microsoft toll free number usa, windows activation phone number, microsoft office activation phone number, office activation phone number

office suport  03/sep./2019 01:59:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ...
Universo Centro