Número 22 - Abril de 2011   


Pentateuco: ¿Parranda santa?

Revista Frivolidad In Memoriam


Parranda santaEn 1987 circulaba por esta parroquia Frivolidad, una modesta y muy divertida revista de humor que salía cada que se podía y que entre tumbo y tumbo alcanzó la astronómica cifra de siete números, antes de devenir en otra historia. El artículo que presentamos a continuación pertenece al que apareció por Semana Santa de aquel año, el tercero para más señas, cuando seguía vivo el escándalo de la Caja Vocacional, esa entidad financiera medio pirata que se inventaron los curas, con monseñor Abraham Gaitán Mahecha a la cabeza, para embolatarle los ahorritos a miles de colombianos que ingenuamente confiaron en quienes se precian de ser representantes de Dios en la Tierra. Una interesante y muy apropiada reflexión, posterior a la semana de recogimiento.

No entendemos por qué este país, acosado por males e inmoralidad, no aprovecha la Semana Mayor para recogerse y orar.

Pero la gente prefiere el paseo o la rasca, se van, y las procesiones están cada día menos surtidas (se conforman con darle una vuelta a la manzana o, si está lloviendo, a las bancas del templo).

Hemos llegado al colmo. En la Parroquia El Divino de Pedregal, por ejemplo, el señor párroco adelantó la Semana Santa para hacerla toda en una tarde, el pasado 10 de abril. Nos parece simpático transcribir el programa que nos llegó:


La Parroquia El Divino avisa a su distinguida feligresía que debido a la excursión que organizamos para recoger fondos para ayudar a la Caja Vocacional, nos vemos obligados a adelantar la Semana Santa para el próximo 10 de abril.

5 pm. Domingo de Ramos. Misa y procesión. Pueden asistir con la sudadera del viaje pero rogamos que se quiten la cachucha en el instante de la elevación.
5:30 pm. Lunes, Martes y Miércoles Santo. Confesiones, comunión y ejercicios espirituales.
5:45 pm. Jueves Santo. Última cena. Visita de médico al monumento (que por favor no ocurra como otras veces, que los mal informados llegan al Monumento al Arriero).
Advertimos a los niños que hacen de apóstoles que no se les repartirá el acostumbrado pan con vino porque después se marean en el bus.
6 pm. Viernes Santo. Misa; procesión de 11. El viacrucis lo veremos en el betamax de la parroquia.
Opcional: procesión al Santo Sepulcro.
6:15 pm. Sábado Santo. Procesioncita de gloria alrededor del altar. No dejen perder los niños que después nos toca darles comida y para el pasaje. No habrá misa.
6:30 pm. Domingo de Resurrección. Alabado sea el Señor.
6:30 a 6:45 pm. Semana pascual.
7 pm. Salida para Coveñas.

NOTA: Quienes no asistan a por lo menos tres oficios religiosos no pueden coger ventanilla.

Mis semanas santas   ¿Parranda santa?   Eccehomo y Bon Ice   Barrabás   Garita Santa
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